"Getting married is easy, staying married is hard. Youíre waiting for the right person." — ruthiedean.com: A Single's Guide to Surviving the Holidays
As singles, it's frustrating living between the tension of what could be and what is. Is waiting for intimacy just a pipe dream? What needs to be our impetus for waiting? It is:
Is it really worth it?
Yes! God designed it to bond husband and wife together, and in doing so:
All it takes is an honest look around us (on local, national, or world levels) to see the devastating effects of ignoring God and engaging in sexual sin, of which God warns against:
1 Corinthians 6:18 (NASB): "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body."
Galatians 6:7-8 (NASB): "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life."
Hebrews 13:4 (NASB): "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
Although at times they may feel like it, God's commands are neither arbitrary nor Draconian. They are designed for good: to protect us from the damaging effects of sin. Discipline and patience in waiting can prevent unnecessary conflict, mistrust, anger, jealousy, revenge, and bitterness from marriage. They are also intended for pleasure, deep connection, and union between a husband and wife. As "J" of Hot, Holy, Humorous noted:
"Purity before vows + frequency after vows = :) sex life"
Or as Jaimie noted in a post:
"...I think too often Christians talk too little about sex except to say "Itíll be great if you wait"—which is true, but itís not always great right off the bat. It definitely wasnít for my husband and me; but two years later, itís amazing! Thatís what Iíve been telling my friends who are getting married. Sex isnít something thatís easy right away, and it might not even feel good right away, but thatís whatís great about a committed marriage: you have the rest of your lives to learn more about sex, to get better at it, and to enjoy each other.
Now, why would anyone want to start a new sexual relationship before they had learned to have one properly in the first place? And who wouldn't want to have better and better sex for their whole life with the same person?
That's one thing I love about marriage!"
Like anything in life—which takes effort and diligence—we can either believe God, accepting and obeying His commands as beneficial and enjoy the results, or we can ignore them and deal with the consequences (some of which have a delayed fuse).
Beautiful and key as it is, physical/sexual intimacy is just one aspect of marriage. Transformation through companionship is another component that God set in motion and uses to shape us to His image. Another lady shares:
"My husband is the first person that has loved me for me...warts and all. I thought I had my life "all together", that I had no real struggles. Then hurts, betrayals by friends, significant health issues, etc. took me down a path of self-discovery. I found that I had been trying to be something else my whole life—something other people expected me to be. It led me to struggles with depression and other health issues. I am nothing like the person I was when my husband married me. My journey of self-discovery led me to find who I truly, freely am in Christ. And though I've changed drastically, my husband has shown me unconditional love through it. Even my parents (who I love very much) have issues with how I think and handle life. They have unmet expectations. But he has been the one person that has allowed me to be me. He's seen the ugly depressed side of me that couldn't get out of bed to be with my kids. And he didn't judge me for it. Instead, he allowed me the grace to go through the struggles and love me through it. He has shown me, in human form, the love that God has for his children. I've never felt so free from expectation. Marriage has been truly transforming for me and I have become a better version of me because of him. All that to say...it's worth it. :)"