A picture is worth a thousand words
The purpose of this website (very much a work in progress) is to:
- Challenge and encourage fellow singles to obey and honor God by waiting for sexual intimacy in marriage, through speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
- Challenge and encourage married couples to include singles in the conversation of life, to learn from each other by being open and intentional about life with them.
- Be a solace where singles feel welcome and understood.
- Offer frank, biblical responses—without Christianese or pat answers—to real struggles encountered in waiting.
- Provide impetus for collecting and processing thoughts and feelings in light of biblical truth and reality on this subject; serving as a repository.
- Implement this through raw honesty (the kind many Christians like to avoid)—feedback and constructive criticism are always welcome.
All are welcome. Helping each other process biblical truth is one of the greatest ministries there is—regardless of where we are in life.
The mindset among most married Christians says: "As a single, unmarried virgin, you shouldn't be dwelling on or even thinking about companionship and married sex yet—let alone entering into discussion about it." In other words, "You can't handle the truth." My response: "I can't handle lies."
I understand the reasoning behind it—there is always legitimate concern about prurient, lustful intent derived from its discussion. However, this mindset fails to resolve a number of key issues:
- We need a solid, biblical view. It's impossible to not think about sex and intimacy, and as Christians (especially in this day and age) we absolutely need to know what God says about it and why. We need to know what we believe and be ready (2 Timothy 4:2) to have an answer for it (1 Peter 3:15). Truth is being challenged on every front—especially sexuality, as Satan knows only too well its debilitating implications on the believer, their family, church, and testimony.
- We need encouragement ourselves, and be encouraging others. Waiting for sexual and emotional intimacy in marriage is very difficult—especially in a world dominated by instant "anything goes" gratification and the 24/7 barrage of salacious media. Sadly, there is also an underlying hostility toward singles (and men in general) by some marriage bloggers that can be summed up in one phrase: "Unless you're married, you have nothing to say." There is an expectation that if you don't say what they want you to say—whether or not it's the truth—you're not welcome here. In short, it's an exclusive club mentality. No-one should ever be excluded or treated with disdain in their search for truth. We need both constant encouragement to wait for intimacy as God intended, and more importantly, reminders of why we are waiting—in short, surrounding ourselves with relevant biblical truth to counter the lies and deceit we are daily surrounded by.
- We need to be standing for the truth. As Jessica Harris noted so well: "Sin thrives in silence." If our hearts are right before the Lord, and our desire is for truth, then we need to speak out about it. There is no room for fear of criticism and judgment from other believers.
- The church must be called out in this area. The biggest failure of the church in the area of sexuality has been to appropriately, but boldly and frankly, uphold and promote God's design of (and for!) it. Failure to do this results in a vicious cycle. Sexual sin is rampant in the church, with few bold enough to stand for the truth, and even fewer with victory over it in their lives to speak about it. Not to mention fear that discussion of biblical truth about sex will tempt and lead to prurient lust. How is that working in the church? The biggest misconception the church faces is that discussion of sex somehow inherently includes lessons on anatomy and sexual positions. Not so; the focus is—and must always be—biblical truth about it.
Satan's goal is to keep sexuality in a ditch on either side of biblical truth (sex is evil vs. sex is everything), and so far, he's winning...but it doesn't have to be that way!